A Day of memories and shattered dreams

Today has been one of those days that social media likes to remind you about how much your life has changed in a year…

Snapchat sent me memories of Belfast, smiles, happiness good times.

Facebook sent me the same memories

So these alone were enough to send me over the edge and then the big one!

My Ex came up on my Tinder…although I’ve been on Tinder for a while my heart wasn’t really in it and to be honest I just wanted to chat to people nothing serious, I’ve chatted with total dickheads, been unmatched because I wasn’t looking for one night stands and asked the most weird questions! But never did I expect my ex to go on Tinder (basically because he slagged off dating sites big style because his mum was on every dating site going and had loads of men at his house when he was young), SO yeah double standards or what?

I totally except that I am being unreasonable but you know what I want to be unreasonable today because he has just sunk the final knife in my chest..he told me I was his everything when infact I was NOTHING! and this is my final proof.

So in true ex style I have deleted all my memories off social media and now we never existed as a couple at all . It’s all been trashed and you know what I probably needed this to happen today because I now know that I am worth so much more than this. I deserve someone who is interested in ME, who want’s to do things with me, who wants to experience the future with me, who is proud of me, who desires me in every way. Not someone who wanted to shout me down, make me feel crap, gaslight me, ghost me .

So yes it’s the end.. im gutted, i’m heartbroken, I didn’t want to admit it but I hoped that he would want me back, that he would say sorry but I just knew he never would because he doesn’t do those things he has to control everyone and everything in his life…but no more…I am totally coming at this from hurt and I don’t care who knows it because that’s what normal people do. I lost myself 6 months ago, I’ve been through so much but it was worth it because I found me..I found beautiful Emily again and I know more than anything that I WILL SURVIVE ON MY OWN!.

So now I am off to bed to listen to my Spotify playlist, so if the dickhead reads this blog listed to this song because it is YOU…..

Dream Theater ~ Paralysed

~The best in life comes to those who care~

Em xo

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