Normal?

I’ve been looking after my grandad while he has been in hospital making sure that my nan gets to see him and sitting with them. It’s been a tough time for all my family as grandad was in intensive care for 2 days and we have all been worried loads. Seeing these two people together who have been married 51 years makes me realise what true love it. They argue loads but they can’t live without each other and that’s something I hope I get to experience one day myself.

Being around them has made me again think about how we react to things. Me and my ex just literally don’t speak anymore and slowly over the last 6 months all our history has been deleted in one way or another. It feels like now that our relationship never existed at all. All my pictures are gone, he’s not a friend on any social media and i’m probably never going to see him again. Does that make me sad? a bit because we couldn’t even work things out to stay at least friends.

I am not perfect but I have come a long way in how I see and deal with things now because all this has made me strong. I can’t change how he reacts to things and how he sees me as all that is his choice. I gave him chance to open up to me as a friend and he slammed that door time and time again so I can’t do anything else but accept that it is what it is.

I really do hope he finds what he is looking for in a partner.

Me… I will keep looking for the love like my grandparents because that is what true love is!

~You will look for me in everyone you meet, but you will never find me because I am unique~

Em xo

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