I didn’t know whether to write this next post but seeing a picture this morning made me realise that by putting things down here it is my way of setting myself free… this picture says it really because for so long I was treading on egg shells every day afraid to confront situations or people, so I kept quiet and every time it chipped further in to my head and my mental health .
For quite a while after my breakdown I couldn’t go to places in case I saw certain people from my past. I was massively afraid of any kind of confrontation. That feeling in the bottom of your stomach of being so afraid that you feel sick, your head spins with terror and you feel out of control is just the worst.
Then slowly I learned ways to cope… because if I didn’t that whole experience would have defined me forever, I would have been a prisoner of my own mind.
Well this week I saw my past!
I’m not going in to detail but all I can say is this experience finally laid the ghost of my past to bed. I saw that person who once rocked my whole world. I didn’t panic, I didn’t go in to melt down I just looked in to his face and saw nothing! Do I think he still has the potential to cause me trouble … yes … because his version of the truth will never be mine but that’s for him to live with not me.
I am just living each day as it comes now, dealing with situations and not running away from them, just being myself and most importantly being happy.
There is a reason for my happiness… someone walked in to my life and made me feel alive again, they made me see that there “are” good honest people in this world. He wants to cherish my whole body and mind, he treats me the right way .. like his equal 💕
I hope he will be in my life a long time but who knows.. I’m just taking life one day at a time and most importantly I’m believing in myself because I know I can do this!
~ love the life you live~