A different approach

Well I decided to change my Tinder bio…I’m now going for the light hearted have a joke approach… seriously I could so do with a cuddle right now and well if you can make me mash then put a ring on it now 🤣

There must be a decent lad out there who wants me in their life , I just have to work on my bluntness now and may be my resting bitch face needs to soften ha!

~let life give you laughs not frowns~

Em xo

Quit with the self destruct train

I genuinely believe that there are some people out there that are ‘tortured souls’ but with that belief also comes a thought that just because these people have tortured souls it doesn’t give them the right to treat others badly. 

We all go through bad experiences in life  but that doesn’t mean my bad experience is worse than your bad experience so that gives you an excuse to treat me like rubbish. This has happened to me more than once in my life! 

Do I think everyone can work on their problems and change? … no… because not everyone wants to change or not necessarily change but to resolve their lives and be a better person because they just want to carry on going round in a circle looking for answers that don’t exist, blaming people for their own faults instead of taking responsibility! They move from friendship groups all the time trying to reinvent themselves all so they don’t have to deal with the truth. 

Yes these people can be the nicest people around when they want to be, but if you cross them or don’t give them enough attention then you’re gone! They cut you off dead, they never give second chances, they choose to ignore your pain to gain focus back all the time to themselves. 

People want to be in their lives but they shut the door time and time again as they would rather play the martyr. They would rather loose the best people in their lives than just say “hey I need you and want you in my life can we work on things together”

I suppose it all boils down to honesty and can we be honest with ourselves? 

Life is too short, so stop with the crap, move on , draw a line and if you want something or someone then god damn fight for them, except your good bits and your bad bits in life and finally deal with your demons. 

~you can’t change your past but you can make a better future~ 

Em xo 

True reflections

There has been a lot in the news recently about mental health and university studying, having been in this situation I can definitely say that a person missing lectures, getting in to debt, not socialising and such doesn’t mean that they are classic at risk students… because I massively struggled to cope, everything was a fog, but I turned up to lectures and did my work … why ? Because I was even more scared not to be seen to be coping for that reason I went under the radar and my uni thought I was fine . I was far from fine I was a complete mess. If it hadn’t of been for my family god knows what would’ve happened I was that low.

So people do “smile and wave” they put on a brave face everyday day and they cope , depression is silent and the way we all cope is different but the fact is we are all together in this!

Universities need to look after all their students they need to realise that not everyone opens up when they are struggling and that there’s not a one type fits all mental health type. Not everyone is lucky like me to have a good family to support them , not everyone is ready to deal with life’s problems .

I just want people to see that just because someone puts a smile on their face it doesn’t mean they can’t be struggling everyday just to function.

If anyone is struggling you are not alone I am only a message away !

~ reach out to find a brighter day ~

Em xo

Good enough to love

When you’ve been in an emotionally tough relationship it’s really hard to move on, a lot of searching for answers goes on as well as “what if questions” 

I think women struggle with this way more than men because we don’t emotionally detach like they do we feel like we have to know the reason why??? 

With all that comes the “am I good enough for anyone else?” Because a break up of a relationship also triggers thoughts of being a failure as a person because you couldn’t save the relationship. But the truth is out there… you can only save what wants saving. It’s easy to remember the good bits and make excuses but the reality is that there were huge BAD bits that were never going to be resolved no matter how many times you went over the past. 

Ask yourself these questions:

Was what went wrong all down to just you?

Did you ‘both’ ever say sorry?

Did you ‘both’ acknowledge your actions? 

Did either of you involve others to make them feel at fault “triangular effect”? 

Did either person say hurtful things after the break up? 

Did either person promise to get help for it only to be lies to get sympathy? 

Did either person make you loose your own identity?

With all those sorts of questions in your head it makes you feel like you’ll never be good enough for someone else. 

But we are all good enough! 

If you’re a girl struggling with your own self worth then don’t post sleazy pictures on social media with hardly any clothes on to get attention from men… be true to yourself you are the same person clothed or unclothed and if they don’t see that then it’s their loss. 

Be proud of yourself no matter what!

Life can be lonely, but work with that loneliness to make yourself stronger.

If you’re a lad then think could I treat girls better, could I be a better version of myself, can I admit when I am wrong? 

Everyone deserves to be happy but don’t loose out on having a good life by searching for perfection it just doesn’t exist! 

~life is a bunch of questions with no one right answer~ 

Em xo

Poetry in motion

I’ve copied this from one of my mums friends Facebook pages, mum says Karen is the only person she’s ever met in her life that is the true meaning of friendship, she acts and talks from the heart and is a genuinely lovely person. If only we all had a Karen in our lives 💕

~Genuine people are rare so if you find one hold them tight and never let go~

Em xo

Don’t worry folks, I’m not depressed 😊 

(but have been in the past so know how it feels) 

Depression

Sometimes in life

You don’t notice at first

The fog rolling in

‘Till it becomes worse

As little by little

It descends every day

Restricting your view

As you go on your way

Then all of a sudden

You’re stopped in your tracks

You cannot move forward

And there’s no turning back

Lost in the fog

Of deepest despair

As darkness descends

With its steely glare

You lose sight of hope

As depression kicks in

Fighting a battle

So hard to win

You take to your bed

Heading under the covers

As you shut out the world

Until you recover

How long it will take

Is unknown to you

As you wait for the sunlight

To start shining through

Hoping and praying

You’ll once again see

The pathway that leads you 

To your inner peace

By Karen Wilson @ Poetry Corner – Facebook 

Live life for yourself!

Well I’m now 20! My birthday was a  busy day at work and when I got home my feet just literally died on me but it was a good day. 12 months ago if someone would have told me I would spend my next birthday working, not at university and not with my then boyfriend I would have called them a liar.. so yep life does change in unexpected ways. 

The interesting thing about my birthday was the messages I received or could that be the messages that I didn’t receive. Not one person from my college friendship group wished me a happy birthday (so as I realised recently it really is out of sight out of mind.. f**k off Em we’ve got better friends than you now!) They couldn’t even be nice to me for one day ! So it’s probably safe to say that what goes around comes around and I’ll just ignore their birthday’s too when they happen. 

That’s not me though, that’s not the way I roll! 

In life people are dispensable when they’ve served a purpose then poof… GONE! Never to be thought or spoken to again.  I’ve heard it before that certain people come in to your life for a reason and I would say yep that’s right, the reason being to teach you to keep your guard up because nothing and no one is forever! 

On a totally throw to a different subject moment, the funny thing that did happen to me on my birthday is that the lad that I was “talking to” asked me “is there anything you want to know about me?” … was he for real!!!! My birthday and he wants to talk about himself. Well my friend I don’t need to ask you anything apart from please leave! .. the all about me boyfriend struck again wow! I really do attract these kind of lads. So I’m going to take a break from needy people and focus on myself and where I want to be in the next 12 months and if a life partner comes along in that time then fine but if not then that’s fine too as it’s not a priority… being myself and being happy is my priority. 

So in summary I’m tired and overworked, I have ditched the lads, ditched the oxygen thieves that were in my life as so called friends and guess what I’m happy! 

~Live for the moment~

Em xo